When Love is Forced and Other Short Stories
by Rogue Almighty
Summary: A Series of oneshots about the Harry Potter gang. Ch. 1: Harry Matchmakes. Ch. 2: Voldie contemplates. RATING BUMPED UP TO M DUE TO UPCOMING CHAPTER!
1. Chapter 1

When Love is forced

Hey, all. I was struck with the idea for this fic after reading countless humor stories. So here it is.

Summary: Harry is sick of his two best friends being alone, so he sets out to set them up. ((HUMOR FIC)) pairings: HG/SB, RW/HP

Harry sighed as he looked back and forth between his best friend and his godfather. Neither was doing anything particularly interesting, just sitting there. And that was why Harry was staring and depressed. You see, since Sirius was brought back from beyond the veil, he's been, well, restrained. He never interacts with anyone, he never went out, and, most importantly, he never got laid. And now, Harry saw it as his god sonly duties to make sure Sirius got laid.

Which is why he was watching his best friend. Hermione hadn't dated a lot, and didn't really seem to care about her lack of a sex life. In fact, she hadn't seemed to care that her last boyfriend was Viktor Krum, in fourth year. Harry saw this and winced. He vowed to change that. And the only way he saw to change that, was Sirius.

Both of his unsuspecting victims had been alone for quite sometime. And both were easy prey for his matchmaking. He just had to think of the perfect way to set them up. His plotting, however, ceased momentarily, when his boyfriend, Ron Weasley, came into his line of vision. He brightened and jumped up to give his lover a hug and kiss. It was, of course, more important that he welcome Ron home properly then to continue plotting.

But with Ron here, he had the perfect ally to help bring Hermione and Sirius together. Ron would help Harry do anything, especially if Harry offers the proper incentive.

Ron looked at his boyfriend doubtfully. They had retired to their bedroom so as to have a private conversation about their housemates. He didn't honestly see how they could get them into a relationship willingly. Hermione would probably end up killing Sirius within a week. But he knew he would be able to say no to Harry, because Harry always won.

Harry smiled innocently at Ron. He had been trying to coax the Quidditch player into helping, and knew he was nearly there. He simpered slightly as he looked deeply into Ron's eyes.

"Please, Ron? Look at them! They're both devastatingly lonely. We have to help them. If not for their sakes, but for ours. With them busy together, we have more time alone." Ron wavered slightly in his resolve. No matter how well he knew Hermione wasn't 'devastatingly lonely', Harry was far to convincing. And he caved.

"oh, all right. As long as you don't do anything that may cause hurt feelings. But don't expect me to help you plot. I'm just gonna keep my silence and try to make sure you don't do anything too out of control." But his words were lost as Harry jumped up, gave him a slight peck on the cheek and ran off. Ron groaned and fell back on the bed with his hands over his face. "What have I gotten myself into?"

!

Meanwhile, Hermione and Sirius continued to sit and carry on their normal activities. Said activities could be seen as normal for them and, to any normal person watching them, it was obvious that they weren't lonely at all. In fact, they were very content with their lives and how thy lived them. But Harry wasn't normal. Not even close. So now, he was going to attempt to cure them of the nonexistent loneliness, which will most likely result in mass chaos. Also known as "Harry's meddling consequences" as it was known amongst the circle of friends.

For this wasn't the first time he decided to interfere. In fact, he does this a lot. Usually he's relatively harmless in his meddling, but then there are other times when he was quite off.

There was much speculation as to why he liked to meddle. Hermione firmly believed it was to relieve the boredom that had accumulated since the war ended. She may have been right. Or Luna may be right, in her theory (published in the Quibbler, August 1999) that the miniature nymphs that occupied his ear were to blame. We may never know, however, who was right.

Hermione was very happy with her male-less life. It was how she liked it. No idiocy to screw up her plans, only three best friends who liked to prank her among their countless other victims. At least, that's how she liked to portray herself. Secretly, however, she and Sirius had be dating for a few months. They never wanted to tell Harry or Ron, as they knew one or the other would react oddly and accidentally sabotage the relationship.

And as her counterpart, Sirius felt the same way. He was happy just being with her, and besides the fact the sex rarely happened because of having to hide the relationship; he was perfectly content to remain as he was. Little did he know, their happy little relationship was about to be shattered by his misguided, but well meaning godson.

Harry bounded into the room, seized Hermione's arm and dragged her out of the room as quickly as he had entered. Hermione gasped and allowed him to drag her through the house, used to his odd behavior as it is. When they entered her bedroom, Harry sat her down on the bed and stood facing her, a serious look on his face.

"You don't have any plans for tonight, do you?" At her confused 'no', he smiled, relieved. "Good, because I have just the thing for you. Tonight, you will stay here, and have fun. K? K" and with that, he left her room quickly, so as to continue his corrupted little plan. He returned to the living room, where Sirius still sat, looking at him oddly. Harry smiled innocently (a little TOO innocently, in Sirius' opinion) and went to sit next to Sirius. "Sirius. How would you feel if I arranged you the perfect evening?" Sirius just continued to stare at him, so Harry just sighed. "Ok, here. Just stay here tonight, ok? Ok." And, like with Hermione, he bounced up and out of the room. On his way to his room and Ron, however, he ran into Hermione. He smiled brightly at her.

"I really hope you have fun tonight, Mione. The house will be completely empty for you." Hermione looked at him in confusion.

"What? But what about Sirius? Won't he be here?"

"Oh, no, he has a date tonight." Harry lied quickly. He continued on his path without noticing Hermione's shattered look. He also didn't see as she walked back to he room, where she vowed she wouldn't let Sirius hurt her. And at same time, in Harry's room, Sirius was asking the same question of her to Harry, who replied the she, too had a date. 

That had not been the answer Sirius had been looking for and he quickly returned to the living room in order to stew.

That evening, Harry and Ron set up the Kitchen in a romantic atmosphere and informed both their friends that their dinner for one would be finished at 6 o'clock, and that they needed to enter the kitchen at 6, in order to make sure the food wasn't destroyed. They weren't to go into the kitchen before then, and neither did. They were both content to be angry alone in their respective rooms. Harry and Ron left the house at 5:30, Harry with a light heart, Ron with a feeling of dread.

At six, Hermione entered the kitchen from the entrance in the hall, as Sirius pushed opened the door connecting the kitchen to the living room. They both stopped and looked at each other in surprise.

"Aren't you supposed to be on a date?" They both said at the same time.

"Of course not! Why would _I _be on a date?" Again they spoke together. Hermione rolled her eyes and motioned that she was going to speak first.

"Harry said you had a date tonight." Sirius looked at her in confusion. Then comprehension dawned on his face.

"He said the same about you. I think he's meddling again. Making sure both here, alone, well, Harry tried to make it romantic." He looked around the kitchen at the many candles that had long since burned out, and the motioned to the boom box that was playing the same song (a rather annoying, sappy, love song) over and over again and moved toward Hermione. She smiled at him, finally getting it as well. "So, either he knows about us or he got sick of us not being with anyone. Which do you think it is?"

Hermione smirked. "I think he was, yet again, meddling for his own amusement." She moved into Sirius' opened and waiting arms and kissed him slowly and thoroughly. "What do you say we forsake Harry's probably burned dinner and go on to the stage he was expecting to take place after dinner?" Harry was a notoriously bad cook. And as to her question, well, Sirius answered it by dragging her down the hallway toward his room.

Late that night, when Harry and Ron got back, and saw the two curled up in Sirius' bed, Harry turned triumphantly towards Ron, who rolled his eyes and shoved his lover toward their room. He then turned to the couple that had woken up and were looking at him in confusion.

"Do me a favor." He said to them, grabbing the door handle and starting to pull the door shit. "Tomorrow, when you see him, can you please just let him think he started your relationship?" He heard Hermione and Sirius laugh as he walked down the hallway to the room where he knew he, as well, would be having a very good night.

Fin.

All right, you know the drill. Please review and tell me what you think.


	2. Tom's Dirty Secret

Hey, I've decided to make this fic into a series of one shots. This one is about Tom Riddle. Why he turned to the path he did, and if he regrets anything he'd ever done.

It is a songfic, and I do not own the lyrics. The song is Learn to Be Lonely, sung by Minnie Driver for the Phantom of the Opera Soundtrack. I also do not own anything slightly and/or remotely related to owning the Harry Potter. Tom Riddle (As much as I want him) is in no way owned by me. This fic is just a way for me to amuse myself and dispel the pain of not actually owning Tom, Sevie, Sirius, Remus, Draco, or Lucius. Snap.

!$$$$$$&&&&&((((()))))

Tom sat back, deep in thought. He was in the Library of his mansion, thinking back to why he became 'evil'.

He didn't see himself as evil. He simply thought the Muggle-Borns couldn't meld well in their world, and it may become too much for them and their families. And with their muggle families knowing of their world, soon many more people would know and their world would no longer be secret. Which would most definitely not do.

Child of the wilderness  
Born into emptiness  
Learn to be lonely  
Learn to find your way in darkness

He had nothing personal against Lily Evans, or James Potter. It had hurt deeply to kill such a powerful and intelligent witch. But it had to be done, and to this day he would stand by his decision.

Tom sipped his kiddy cocktail. Being an evil overlord was _hard. _Giving orders all day was not his cup of tea. In fact, he'd much rather not do it. And then, when the subordinates got rowdy, who got to clear that up? Him. And do you know how hard it is to get blood out of his new robes? Nigh impossible. And he wasn't kidding.

There came a hesitant knock at the door and he half-heartedly called them in. A meek house elf entered, looking terrified, and muttered that his ice cream sundae was done. Tom nodded to the poor creature and waited for his ice cream to come in for him. He had an extreme fetish for said treat, and if Harry Potter ever found out about that obsession, well…let's just say that would be the end of the Evil Dictator Voldemort.

Who will be there for you  
Comfort and care for you  
Learn to be lonely  
Learn to be your one companion

He dug in happily and let his mind wander. The only real reason he became an evil dictator was because he wanted love. After years of the orphanage, he hadn't realized how to treat friends, and now that he was here, he had no friends and was still incredibly alone. And he was sad. Sadness was probably the only thing ice cream couldn't fix for him. But he was still trying.

Severus Snape entered the library briskly and came to stand before Tom. Tom eyed him warily.

"Yes? What is it, Severus?" The surly Potions Master raised an eyebrow at the dribble of ice cream down his master's chin, but said nothing of it.

"Well, my lord, the Order is getting suspicious of our apparent routine of meetings. Do you have a new story I can suggest to them that we are doing?" Tom chuckled happily. Maybe ice cream could fix sadness….

Never dreamed out in the world  
there are arms to hold you  
you've always known your heart was on its own

He motioned Severus to sit next to him. "Well, why don't you tell them that instead of rampaging and killing everyone in our path, we're instead helping build hospitals and daycares for the muggle world?" At Snape's raised eyebrow, he hastened to explain. "Make it sound like we're doing it for some evil reason. I'm sure you'll come up with something, you're smart. Ice cream?" He offered a spoonful to the slightly frightened Severus who declined and quickly left the library, leaving a rather confuzzled Dark Lord behind.

So laugh in your loneliness  
Child of the wilderness  
Learn to be lonely  
Learn how to love life that is lived alone

Tom sighed and wondered what it was about him that drove people away. He really didn't see himself as all that scary or odd…

Maybe it was because he was taking over the world for just one thing:

Ice cream.

But that didn't seem right. After all, who didn't like ice cream? It was delicious, and made him all warm and fizzy inside. Drew out his cuddly side. And wasn't that a good thing?

But then he thought of he's actual plans. And realized that he wasn't just doing it for ice cream. There was one more thing…

Learn to be lonely  
Life can be lived life can be loved alone

Hugs. He really wanted hugs. And when he ruled the world, he'd get so many hugs, he'd never be sad again.

Yes, he thought, leaning back in his chair, hugs were a definite thing for his new regime.

HI!

So, I updated the next day. Scary?

Ok, so….For my dearest reviewers:

Reviews for When Love Is Forced

CharmedLeoLvr- Don't I know it. Conceited smirk

S.c.ou.s.er.4.li.f.e- w00t w00t! My story is cool! does a triple toe dance

Crapulence- Smirk Name Thief. And I hope you liked my new chappie. offers to let you use her Dancing Harry figurine for amusement

Rane2920072- Bows Of course I'm gonna write more! Scoffs That's my way of getting praise! Duh! Lol, thanks for the review, babe.

Now, I may update again quickly, so if you like these stories, hopefully you'll pray to my muse (Talia) To not hate me for a change. Thanks!

!Shelby!


	3. Goodbye

To everyone who reads my stories:

First off, thank you so much for those of you who have read and kept up with my stories. I really appreciate the support, and looking back on the reviews, my heart warms knowing that some of the best people in the world have read my stories. You have made writing worthwhile to me.

Now to the unpleasant part: I'm Sorry. I have reached a point in my life where I cannot justify writing anymore. I was confronted with the unpleasant reality that I am not that good of a writer, which has made me lose all faith is my stories that I have started. Because I have reached this place of disillusionment, I doubt I will be updating anytime soon. I AM, however, deciding to leave the stories up just in case that need arises later in time.

I am currently nearing my sixth anniversary on this website, and I can't help but marvel at the changes that have happened in that time. But, honestly, I can't believe I've been on the site long enough to see all the things change. Hell, I feel so old because I remember when no one had member IDs that were longer then six numbers (and we were the n00bs!)

I hope that everyone who is currently taking advantage of this site and everything that it offers always remember what a treasure it is. Not only do we all get the chance to stretch our creativity, but we also get the chance to be exposed to different writing styles, and (hopefully) learn better ways of writing, improving our grammar and structuring skills, and, above all, keeping our brains from turning to mush.

As a wise man once said, "With so many inventions and distractions in the world today, it's a marvel that anyone knows what a book is, or the purpose of such a relic. Soon the only books you will see shall be in glass boxes in museums, and all information we need will simply be transmitted to our brains." Let us all hope we can keep the world reading, and stay away from such a future. (Yuck!)

Anyways, now that I've gone on a tangent, I should wrap this up. Hopefully, this won't get my stories in trouble, because it isn't an "update". But, really, goodbye and thank you to everyone who has contributed to the learning experience that this website has presented me. (Now I'm getting teary-eyed!) Even though I do not plan on continuing any of my current stories, I AM almost finished with my final plot bunny, which is for Criminal Minds.

After that, I will REALLY be done. But I would love to keep in touch with any and all of the wonderful people I've gotten to know through this site. Feel free to email me at if you want to keep in touch; I'm planning on watching for any amazing updates from you amazing people!

Yours Always-

Shelby

(Writing As)  
Rogue Almighty

P.S.- Does anyone know why authors have that one their books? For example, "Nora Roberts, writing as J.D. Robb". Isn't that a little……waste of ink? I don't know, I just had to make a last comment about that. What can I say? It bothers me!


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